A while back I attempted to post lots of pictures of things that I used with Allyssa (I never finished posting stuff, sorry), but I never said the reason why I decided to do that. My sister is having her first in February! She found out yesterday if it is a boy or a girl, but you'll have to read Jay's great comic strip to find out!
I just read this post and laughed. Here ya go, Cristy!
Taken from Fried Okra
Ya'll know I would NEVER, but still, it's fun to daydream on occasion.
1 - Tape Mama's eyelids open.
2 - Tape Baby's eyelids shut.
3 - Tape pacifier in Baby's mouth. If Baby must have pacifier to sleep, why won't Baby stop shootin' it outta mouth like a cheap plastic "cork" out of a bottle of cold duck?
4 - Tape blanket onto Baby, who requires no less than straight-jacket-tight swaddle for sleepage but can wrestle arms loose in 2.9 seconds flat and immediately go into hysterics because "MAMAAAAAAAAAAAA! HEWP! MY ARMS! DEY ARE MOVING AND I CANNOT MAKE DEM STOP!"
5 - Tape other household child(ren)'s mouth(s) shut when Baby finally falls into twitchy, nervous-looking sleep that probably won't last longer than it takes Mama to get down to the kitchen and hastily grab a spoon and a tub of Nutella.
6 - Tape other household child(ren) to wall to guarantee child(ren)'s continued quietude and safety as Baby miraculously sleeps through Mama's frenzied Nutellafest and Mama sets sights on first shower in three days.
7- Tape over doorbell. Stupid doorbell! No shower for Mama this time. Splattered Nutella stuck in Mama's hair will have to wait until the weekend.
8 - Tape waist and legholes of Baby's diaper. Mama's desperate, but even in desperation doesn't want THAT kind of shower.
9 - Tape over & Lights part of Sound & Lights baby monitors. & Lights often confused for Hellish Angry Red Lightening in parents' sleep-dazed heads at 2:30 AM. Scary nightmares!
10 - Tape mailbox shut. Hospital bills from Baby's birth making Mama and Daddy cry harder and sleep less than Baby.